A little concerned that a dateology coach is leading people down an inescapable Kafka trap. Pay for dinner and men would be leveraging the patriarchy, don’t pay for dinner and men are also leveraging the patriarchy. How about men and women both put debit cards in the hands of the waiter who then shuffles them and blindfolded picks one at random. Nobody gets to know who paid until the end of the month when they check their statements. There you are, Schrödingers Pudding. A perfectly feminist if long winded solution to the non- problem you presented. :o)