An emotional response can happen when triggered because of a past trauma. However, it's perfectly possible to adjust your thought process to acknowledge that your feelings are valid and relevant but don't necessarily need to be acted upon. Being hurt or upset is not a choice. Being offended is the behaviours that occur after that fact.

If a small child in your care announces that they don't love you - and this happens from time to time. You can be hurt, you can be traumatised - but there is no point punishing that child by taking offence. Ratioanlism prevents people being offended. If you can do it with children you can do it with other people.

If people are trying to offend you - then the best thing you can do is rationalise that. Otherwise your emotional response (internal) and subsequent behaviour (external) play into what they want. Given they can't see your internal state, the only satisfaction you can give them is in your offended behaviours.