Everyone involved is an adult, everyone involved knows the score (except his wife) - there’s no judgement to be made apart from what he thinks marriage is all about. He won’t be the first guy to cheat on his wife, nor the last, but there’s a hypocrisy at play here around the ‘til death do us part’ of marriage.

It feels like you both should’ve had a joint chat about whether bringing a new life into the world was a good plan. You seem to be on different pages and occasionally different books. If pregnancy isn’t what a man wants, unprotected sex isn’t the order of the day - nevertheless, withholding information from him about the pregnancy and miscarriage may also have been somewhat manipulative. Has he known this had happened, would he have changed his sexual behaviour. I’d argue probably - but I cannot be sure.

Either way; there is now a new life in the world and in the fullness of time these explanations will feature in their life story and who they are. A baby that is wanted is half way to being a good human being for the species. :o)