How much of this is confirmation bias? When your psychological model of the world groups people into set categories and attributes certain behaviours to a given group – won’t you see those behaviours everywhere you look?

Isn’t this especially true of behaviours that are difficult to define and could be considered neutral. Passive aggressive behaviour fits into this category quite neatly, if it’s covert aggression as you’ve suggested, how do you know it’s aggression at all – let alone attribute the joint causes of patriarchy and white supremacy upon it? This could be simply a projection of your world view and internal model out into reality.

To believe that every black woman on the planet is an angry rage filled monster would be racist. There’s a power imbalance at play here that makes your view of white women non-oppressive but equally problematic.

A world view of consistent malignant oppression by nefarious forces will lead to anxiety and depression. You will eventually withdrew from engaging with white women at all – self imposed segregation, all the time claiming they’re the ones making your life impossible. That isn’t to say you aren’t being treated badly by some white women, you likely are. But you’re likely being treated badly by people from all demographics. People are sometimes awful and there are many complicated and multi-faceted reasons for that aside from the level of melanin in their skin and their genitalia.

Identity politics is inherently flawed because it makes group value judgments and asserts them as indicative of the whole. Same as racism. The same logic that allows people to dismiss you as ‘an angry black woman’ is being used here to vilify an entire group of people at source. Would it not be better and more psychologically healthy to view the world as a collection of individuals? Some of whom are ass-hats and some of whom aren’t. Then sort them accordingly.