I think the capacity for delusion is strong in both of you. What does a MGTOW want with a girlfirend and what does a feminist want with someone subscribed to a group that, by it's very nature, is the epitome of everything feminists stand against. The relationship is pure attraction, that's all - there's nothing wrong with it - and everything wrong with both of you beelining to the appropriate extreme ends of a debate and then giving yourself a hall pass to meet in the middle.

The human capacity to bend the rules to suit our own needs is quite incredible. This means it's perfectly valid to write articles about manspreading and the toxic effects of the patriarchy on the one hand, whilst giving yourself a cheeky wink and a nod for getting an open hand spanking by a committed misogynist on the other. If you were accused of double standards, you could retreat into the world of 'I'm an empowered woman and I can do what I want....' - but it smacks of hipocrisy to the extreme.

And when those incels get together and they talk about how women don't mean what they say... and how they treat 'nice guys' badly whilst giving 'bad boys' the benefit of the doubt - this is probably what they mean. That's not your fault, but there's a reason these stereotypes exist. . You can call it whatever you like, you can call it pro-choice feminism, you can wrap it up in benevolence, you can dismiss it as unimportant - but from the centre ground it looks like two extremists saying one thing and doing another.

As a more general observation, that's what extremists of any particular belief structure tend to do. Mansions for communists and all that jazz.