I think we are indeed getting mixed up on the semantic meaning of the word 'judgment', and possibly the word 'appropriate'. I'm also a big fan of leaving my comments section open and debating my position and I think it helps create a better experience for everyone - not everyone does this though. That aside.

I think judgment is not necessarily personal (though it also can be) if you put work out into the world, you make it public and by virtue of it being public, you can expect public comment. Those people who enjoy work and those people who don't enjoy work are both passing judgment on it. One judgment is positive, the other is negative. I am suggesting there is no real difference between the two and it's all about the delivery. A condemnation of your argument or artistic expression is not a condemnation of you as a person, unless you feel that art and the artist are inseparable.

Bullying and hurtful comments are never okay but 'hurtful' is a subjective experience. When you asked your friend what they thought of your work and she gave an honest critique, you found it hurtful. is that about you or is it about her? I would suggest that is about you - because by putting your work out into the public sphere you were inviting comment. I don't know what she said, but if she is your friend I imagine that it was relatively considered and tactful. I would suggest it was also fair of her to do so under the circumstances. I think it would markedly unfair to differentiate positive comments as 'not judgment' and negative comments as 'judgmental' - because both are judgments based on the antecedents provided. I think you may be using the word 'judgment' in a different way.

Let me continue your analogy, being a boutique owner and creating a range of clothes that are made from real fur, and this is your artistic expression. People do not have the right to come into the store and damage the clothes, but they do have the right to stand outside and make some noise. They might be respectful about that, they might not be - the question is really about the clothes themselves. The store owner might absolutely call the police and have the protesters removed (or block them) and they would be protecting their business - but that assumes their business has a moral good and I don't think that's always the case. I think that's one of the principle difference between race writers like Rebecca Stevens and Steve QJ or even Alison Gaines... you can question and pass judgment on Steve and Alison's work - you cannot do so with Rebecca because any judgment of the merits of her argument is treated as a judgment of her as a person.

Thanks for the reply... and I always forgot to say when I'm arguing straight out of the gate, I did actually agree with lots of what you've written and I did enjoy the article, I do appreciate writers who will come out to defend their work and debate in good faith. :o)