I'm afraid I don't buy it. I am well aware of what constitutes a trauma response, how an amygdala hijack works and the problems Aspergers can present. As this paragraph demonstrates, Tessa is very aware of what her problematic behaviour is and indeed has self-reported the root cause of it. The fact she is able to issue a general apology suggests she could be capable of reflecting and issuing an individualised apology - the fact she doesn't suggests this contains an element of choice.

Her initial response when triggered may not be a choice and that's fair, I have never reported her (and likely never will) - but if she is capable of offering a group apology and an explanation then she is capable of understanding and modifying her behaviour either beforehand or retrospectively. If she understands she is 'impulsive in her responses' then she is capable of not responding or writing a response but not posting it. Apologising for being incredibly inappropriate and abusive to others then continuing to be so whilst recognising you are isn't helpful. Not something I'm prepared to endorse.

Things that arise on an emotional level cannot be solved rationally, but they also don't have to be supported either. Otherwise we'd grant carte blanche to domestic abusers with traumatic childhoods. It may be the case, indeed I would say it almost always is, that makes it very sad but we cannot and should not endorse excuses for bad behaviour. I disagree with Tony's assessment a little. If you are together enough to use your condition as an excuse, then you're together enough to get control of it. I disagree. I think if you're together enough to recognise your condition is problematic, you're together enough to mitigate against it. Tessa isn't doing that. You're doing it for her.