I'm not sure their marriage was a competition in which someone 'wins' and someone loses. You've jumped the shark a few times here with a bucket load of inferences and bias. Perhaps they were all ready to go to Paradise Falls but Ellie insisted on five years of trying for a baby and treatment for Endometriosis which was incompatible for flying.

Perhaps Ellie as an outgoing half of the couple created an odd form of codependency so they could be alone. She has all skills for making friends but chooses not to do so, perhaps she has Carl exactly where she wants him, slowly eroding his confidence until he's incapable of loving anyone but her. Isn't she the one who fails to open a bank account? What if Ellie wanted exactly what she got. She doesn't strike me as the sort of lady so easily subverted from her life goals.

The answer to whether Ellie is evil and misandrist... probably not.

But in over-reaching for a misogynistic message you've managed to create silly noise over one of the best 5 minute pieces of silent storytelling since cinema began. Some stories just work. This was one of them.