I'm sure we've debated this before but it may have been someone else. You cannot gaslight someone you don't know because it requires a level of psychological manipulation that is both personal and sustained.

If you go off like a bomb every time someone gives you a parking ticket - you might be overreacting with extreme anger to a moderate situation. There might be very deeply held psychological reasons for this - but that doesn't mean that this will advantage you in the long run. Say, every time it happens you punch a traffic warden. Your feelings may be valid, they may be subjectively very strong - but objectively you're over-reacting.

If you go to a CBT therapist and they 're-frame' this for you - they aren't gaslighting you. It's simply that your feelings are unhelpful for the situations that you find yourself in.

If, however, a society starts using the word 'gaslighting' out of context - for it to mean 'people have disagreed with my subjective feelings' then we're into the same problem with the word 'racist' - its overuse renders it meaningless.

I'm not made uncomfortable by complaining about racism or patriarchy, it's simply that complaining about such things often leads to erroneous conclusions on how to combat them. Empowerment of the simplest narrative is never the way forward. The complaining itself is justified in many cases, but it provides no solutions and simply leads to echo chamber thinking that exacerbates the problem rather than resolves it.

I'm not against resolving the problems of patriarchy and racism. I'm against knee jerk reactionary thinking as the best way of doing it.