It’s a tough one, these different scenarios may or may not be racist. However, the behaviour of others outside of your control often isn’t worth concentrating on for very long. The answer in each case is both ambiguous and unobtainable. Society can objectively look at the doctors surgery and suggest more diverse posters. I work in a hospital, such a thing is possible…. But it cannot police microaggressions (either real or imagined)

The choice of where you place your attention is your own - but my concern about the ‘everything is racist’ mindset is the disproportionate harm it does to Black and Brown folks. You have a wife, you’re confident and sure of yourself, I dare say you aren’t in your early twenties. The ignorance of other folks bounces off you - and you get on with your day. There aren’t people who can do this - and for those people, the message ‘the world is a malevolent place full of ambiguous hostility’ is a dangerous one when compared with ‘hey, people are dickheads - concentrate on what you can control…. Like being your awesome self’

The question shouldn’t be ‘racist or not’ - at least not for you. That’s the question for the other people who feature in your tale… the question should be ‘does it matter?’ And to that question I would say no and don’t give them anymore thought than you have to - for your own mental well-being. :o)