It's almost like there are a lot of conflicting messages coming from every quarter of every part of society... almost like.. every individual person believes that they speak for an entire group, and questioning them means challenging the principles of their perceived group.

So you're going to get conflicted messages from a whole bunch of different places. If you try and act on any of them, you'll get slammed. The mistake you're making is trying to play the game. You can't win in the game of oppressive identity politics.

The best you can do is be an individual with integrity who questions how they think. That's it. Trying to orient yourself in the world via the subjective messages and feelings of other people is a recipe for unending anxiety.

That's why I'm a penguin. I don't speak on behalf of all penguins, but if I did, penguins think you should just muddle through and make the world a better place through individual acts of kindness and compassion.