My practice didn't take place in Tennesse, I had a small number of trans-kids across my working life as both a teacher and as an advocate for looked after children. It's the latter point that's important.
My job was a very specific one. It involved taking all children at face value on every issue. Didn't matter what it was. I advocated for whatever children wanted. I advocated for children to go and live with paedophiles if they wanted to, to remain in houses where they were experiencing physical abuse, I helped children change their social workers because they (the child) was racist. It's not the job of an advocate to question.
However, you can be very clear about the likelihood of the results of asking. Many of the younger children I advocated for wanted to stay with Mummy and Daddy because they didn't have a functional understanding of what drug addiction was - and little humans (like most humans) are averse to change. You have to trust the system though, I never personally WANTED those children to remain in abusive households, I just recognised the importance of having a child's view in the mix. As a result of clear advocacy, the child would often reach a compromise position and eventually, in the long term, be able to advocate for themselves.
When you're reaching the point of barricading yourself in a room and the police being called for a welfare check, there has been a break down in communication. The judgment needs to be reserved because I don't know what the pre-conditions are to a door being broken down by the police and a worried foster carer/adoptive parent, I suspect it's not something that happens a lot. Not even in Tennessee.
If we throw an advocate into the mix then we tend to get less polarity across the situation and outcomes tend to be better - but that advocacy has to be compassionate and the conversation is a two way street. There may be valid reasons why she cannot use the female bathroom for example - those reasons might not be fair, but they might be valid. It could be that all the other students in the school (or their parents) have threatened to unleash the power of Jesus upon them all. Alternatively, she might have a history of abuse (prior to coming into the care system) which makes her statistically more of a risk to other children. Not because she's trans, but because she's complicated. Both of those things might be of valid concern to social workers and educators. They could also, as you've suggested, be a bunch of thundercunts. I can't discount that.
What I can say for certain is that a rights based approach to advocacy works... that might mean she and the school have to compromise on their position to reach an outcome that creates the least significant harm overall. The outcome created in this situation was not the least significant harm. Were I her advocate, I would advocate for her to be able to use the bathroom whenever she wanted if that's what she asked - but there are ways and means of advocating for change that aren't confrontational and which build rather than destroy bridges.
My position will always be a centrist one, because I think that's the path where people are heard and seen. I think trans-youth are being inculcated to believe that only progressives and other trans people are capable of hearing them and seeing them - because they mistake 'being heard and seen' with 'agreement'. I have excellent conversations with many trans-writers on this platform, I hear them and see them... I don't always agree with them. There are people on this platform who won't ever hear and see them because the messaging of both parties is 'off-brand' for compromise. Bigotry is rife in and outside of the trans community and the bridge between the two communities is boundaried liberals.
That's why we have these chats. I enjoy them. We push and pull each other in new directions in a way I find helpful. As it happens, I think helping trans-people advocate effectively and initiate change, rather than burying themselves in an echo chamber of agreement, is a good use of my time. My support towards an end-goal of humane and compassion led equality is unwavering, I'll ad-hoc waver where I disagree on process or even where i think there's an overreach... because complex issues require complex solutions. This seems like one of those times. I guess we'll never know.
Also, can you let me know how it ended, or if it's still ongoing? Do you have a follow up story?
