That's a shame, because it was a very well written piece and she is an excellent writer - I didn't name her because though I fundamentally disagree with her about her take on the piece she wrote, I also think she's a good sort too and I was genuinely sad to be blocked and I hope at some point she decides to unblock me and resume the back and forth we have over a number of issues. I'm not surprised she deleted the piece and I imagine the negativity she got was universal from feminists, moderates and angry men. I would urge her to put it back up and stand by it.
You cannot help who you are attracted to, but you still exercise a choice over the decision about whether to pursue that attraction. That argument stands for both sexes. Being attracted to someone is not the same as acting on that attraction - and there is still an element of personal responsibility at play. That is what she abdicated here. It was the inevitable lust and a smattering of cupid that took away her free will - and that doesn't stand as a good enough argument for me. The same as the socialist politician who takes a bribe... you either have principles or you don't.
And the issue that she has - and one that you don't share is found in that shamfem nonsense. Hers is often a binary position where the fault is to be found in a) men or b) the patriarchy. This seems to be the nature of modern discourse, a binary for others and grey area for me. Your work holds men accountable (and rightly so) but not at the exclusion of self reflection - your recent article about your ex-husband is full of both feminism and compassionate analysis. It doesn't let him off the hook, but it also doesn't condemn him entirely. Your feminism has a commitment to equality and complexity that hers lacks. That may be an age thing, it may be a life experience thing - but she stands to gain more from reading your views than grandstanding her own. I would say that's true of about 99% of the articles tagged with 'feminism' on this site.
Ultimately I hope that her article leads to some sort of self-reflection - and I hope she hasn't been too cut up by the backlash to her piece. Perhaps it will do her good to experience the acerbic reactions of others about something she considers to be normal. It will either provide more ammo for a ideological war or move her and her boyfriend into a nuanced and centre ground perspective. I really really hope it's the latter - because, like you, I think she's a good person and she means well - she's just posessed with an ideology she's never taken beyond the borders and into the grey areas of real life before.
