The argument that I’m making is not about this specific incident — the rules of this school are idiotic and counter productive. I think they’ve made a ham fisted bodge to try and ensure that everyone is included — and there were far better ways to approach this that would’ve been inclusive and empowering for everyone.

The discussion that needs to be had is to what extent the ‘feelings’ of a person (or group of people) can be allowed to alter the structure of society and change the rules of the social construct. To what extent how an individual ‘feels’ has validity and how others could or should act on those feelings. This is currently being played out in a variety of ways across society with different ‘feelings’ being used as an unassailable argument. Some ‘feel’ as a woman you are entitled to male free spaces, trans-women ‘feel’ they should be allowed into those spaces — the result is a battle of feelings and emotion rather than logic and reason.

I don’t have an answer to how these problems should be solved, I’m simply stating that asserting subjective feelings as a trump card will lead in the opposite direction to the one everyone is aiming for. If this happened in the UK and it was happening to my daughter, then I would challenge the govenors under the EU Convention on Human Rights Article 10 and Article 14. Article 10 provides the right to freedom of expression and Article 14 provides the right to freedom from discrimination. There’s a valid argument to be made that this is curtailing the right of freedom of expression and on a protected characteristic (sex) under the act.

Whilst it may appear like the same argument being made, it really isn’t. I’m aware that this wasn’t in the EU and so the EU laws don’t apply to this case… but there’s also very little chance of this ham fisted compulsory dancing happening in the UK (for this very reason). It would be challenged under law — and rightly so.

The simple argument is ‘girls shouldn’t have to do what they don’t feel like’ the more complex argument is ‘why doesn’t the US have protective legislation in place at state or national level to ensure that this compulsory dancing solution doesn’t occur to anyone in a position of authority?’ Those are different solutions to the same problem and only one will work long term.

And yes in answer to your question, guys are capable of rejecting girls and do, though not as often as you’d think… but that’s a whole other discussion. One that I’ve attempted to engage with here. It’s a comment on a very interesting article about daygame that presents a simple premise but not unpicked the wider social implications.

Thanks for carrying on the discussion, that’s what Medium is for :o)