There's no right answer here - and it wouldn't meet the conventional definition of sexual abuse, that doesn't mean that it wasn't just that I don't think a case like this has been tried in a law court. In this case you're dealing with complicated feelings and feminism has no part of it. I don't know what I would've done, perhaps implemented a universal dress code for all employees. - but it's a complicated situation and kudos for handling it. :o)