This is a great comment and you're arguing for the centre ground. Bizarrely, my feminist position is the vast majority of people have been subconsciously brainwashed into the concept of marriage and monogamy - it's the default setting. Many people don't want a marriage, they want a wedding and they put very little thought into what marriage actually involves or (as I think) what the historical and current social implications of marriage are. This view isn't popular with many people - but that's okay.

I'm not sure how I feel about free will. I struggle with it. I'd like to think the illusion of free will is enough, and that even if it isn't, the average human is capable of changing the antecedents through therapy by noticing patterns. My argument is that there's no way to tell a good relationship from a bad one regardless of the age of the people involved - and therefore age is an irrelevant consideration. You can warn people about their core-programming if you like, but such an approach needs to be based on 'learn about yourself' rather than 'avoid this situation because it's universally bad' - because it isn't. People getting into terrible relationships often do so because their own traumas are unresolved, blaming an external event offers no chance to fix the wiring....

If indeed the wiring can be fixed. Free will anyone?