We don't have to change each other's minds, the back and forth exists to show other readers there are multiple opinions and two schools of thought on most things.

I don't expect people not to have feelings, having feelings especially if they have been wounded is, as you've pointed out, asinine. The APA is also correct, exploring anger, pain and distress can help you to confront problems. And yes, anger has an alerting function: it tells others to listen etc.... but I suspect this is with the caveat 'in interpersonal communication' and doesn't apply to an online article or to a public space.

Therapists help you unpack feelings, they don't encourage you to go out into the local marketplace and start punching people, even if you're angry and even if you've got very valid reasons for that anger. Writing words, arranging them for publication and then sending them out into the world isn't anger. It is rage. That's anger extended over a long period of time, long enough that the emotional incident has passed and a post-hoc rationalisation of that anger is now in play.

You cannot have dialogue with people who have rage. That's what was so interesting about SC's response and why we've been taken down a rabbit hole for a week or so, because if what we're talking about is rage, no matter how valid that rage is - you're correct, we have no chance of finding a sensible middle ground. It'll be the Hunger Games.

I'm sorry that you find engagement with me emotionally taxing, and I mean that sincerely - I have to write that because you cannot infer tone from my words. If it isn't good for your mental health then dip in and out. I do not want to cause anyone distress and I enjoy our back and forth. However, I am professionally trained to exclude feelings from arguments and rarely let my feelings intrude, not because they don't happen - but because they're best left in the private sphere and off the interwebs.

As for the Hunger Games, I'm a little more hopeful. Here in the UK, despite what I read on Medium - I see people of all races getting along, I see Trans-inclusion happening on a daily basis, despite the fact JK Rowling is here and I see most men and women doing their best to rub along. I'm more hopeful for your son's generation because he is a generation below genuinely liberal people and inheriting a world in which there are still problems, but significantly fewer than when his grandfather arrived.