When I train social workers to interact with men and women, I talk about altering technique. I suspect the same thing applies here. For many (but not all) women you need to build a relationship first - they must learn to like you and then you can do things with them. When they a) like you and b) you do things for them - they move to a position of trust. If you start to do things for/with them first, before the relationship is in place they quickly disengage.

When (mostly female) social workers attempt the same strategy with men, they get short shrift. Men aren't interested in building a relationship by having someone come round and engage in complimenting behaviour. Instead, if they can't get fathers to a position of trust, I advise them to simply show up and do what they say they're going to do. Men associate the act of doing something rather than words as a way of building trust. Once you have done things for them, you are more likely to be able to engage with them in a complimentary conversation.

That is not true of all men and not true of all women - but it has helped a lot of workers think their way through a problem. There are two ways to work to a position of trust. Relationship first, followed by action. Or action first follow by relationship. The former appeals to women (who are often more skilled at it) and the latter appeals to men (who find action a good substitute for intense conversation).

Just some Penguin thoughts on the differences you're noticing. :o)