Yes, and no. I think it's a bit more complicated than this. I would say for some people there is a psychological imperative to be needed (in both men and women) - and they will fulfil the needs of the other person whilst simultaneously growing in either real or faked resentment. This becomes martyrdom - a form of guilting the other. It isn't necessarily about fear of being abused but more an inner conflict of not having a purpose.... it is better to have a purpose, even one you grow to dislike than to face your own demons and emotional chaos. If you DO something, you don't have to think about BEING anything.

And yes. I think feminism is helping women break this cycle when it happens - men will make their wives helpless and dependent if they are prone to martyrdom. I think it's doing less to break men out of this cycle when they're caught in the feedback loop of a martyr-mother. I work with a few and have very clear boundaries. Their sons are not given the skills to cope because their helplessness is the sole purpose their mothers retain. Without a helpless son, they aren't mothers any more and would have to deal with whatever that means.