You make some good observations and the implicit understanding about the expendability of male life is very much worth noting. These arguments do also need to go hand in hand with the arguments being made by female feminists being the property of men and therefore subject to ownership behaviours and mistreatment. You cannot expect some women to care about the expendability of male life given the treatment many of them receive - it could (somewhat rightly) be considered a net benefit.

What seems to be required is a centre ground argument that doesn't see these two things as part of a competition of suffering. Rather as two sides of the same coin and both need addressing simultaneously.