Why not use the phrase ‘twat-tax’ like I do — All of us are consumers, we have to be. We have to buy things, we have to eat, we have to wear clothes and we have to co-exist with our fellow human beings. This is part of what it means to be a human and/or Penguin in the 21st Century. …

The Jurassic Era lasted 56.3 million years, incidentally the same length of time I felt I’d been in the cinema — Since my friend Ashleigh got pregnant our once a month drinking meet ups haven’t been as much fun. Yesterday we hit a new low when she arranged for us both to go to the cinema to watch Jurassic World: Dominion. On our normal jaunts what we usually do is pretend…

Five things you’re allowed to know about my identity and four things you’re not. — What constitutes your identity? If society is determined that we play identity politics then this is a question I feel compelled to ask. Who gets to define the parameters of who I am. What’s their agenda and why does it matter? Here are five things I think I have defined…

That’s not how the British legal system works (not even if Amber wants it to be true) — TThe Depp/Heard trial and subsequent outpouring has been interesting… an indication perhaps the world is dividing into populations of people who have pre-decided their position and look for strong evidence to support their world view. I have been involved in numerous debates for the last fortnight about the Depp v…

Some thoughts on being accused of transphobia-in-absentia by the progressive left. — A few weeks ago I threw myself back into the trans-debates with all the reckless abandon of a Penguin with opinions to share. My article was about a Trans-Man becoming pregnant, having a baby and complaining about being misgendered by medical staff. …

If you’re struggling to get your writing right, it might be that you’re in the wrong mode for your work. — I I have three main writing modes. For want of a decent listing structure we’ll call them ‘Argument’, ‘Flinging’ and ‘Creative’. Each of these writing styles requires a different mindset and a different style of engagement with the creative process. …

I want you to really really let me have it. Full on. No holds barred. We all need to go blue every once in a while. — I I want you to indulge me on this. When you get to the end of this article — and it’s going to be pretty short. I want you to go to town in the comments section. …

Something is going wrong with the way we conceive the world and it’s time to find out why. — Your brain is a fragile squishy bundle of neurons packed in a crunchy outer shell. Like an M&M for apex predators. You have no idea how you think. You really don’t. A large percentage of what happens inside your mind happens without your awareness. It’s as baffling and obtuse to…

You do realise I could buy all the weapons I want from duty free? — Okay, so I was told off by a member of the Stansted Airport staff a few weekends ago causing my rage to burn white hot and fuel the conception of this article. My transgression? Not following the waddle-duck rope pattern around for twenty minutes even though the entire fucking thing…